Tired of Trying

By the title you may think this is going to be a super deep post . . . it’s not. Just some perspective; some insight that I would like to share with you. So over the past week, in conversation with some friends, I’ve heard them say, “I’m trying,” or “I’ll try.” And I’m tired of it. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve used this phrase too many times in my life too. However, this year I set out to take try out of my vocabulary. I’ve shared this notion with others, again just casually in conversation whenever I here it, and I politely respond, “don’t try, just do.” So if you’ve ever heard that from me, this is my permission to you if you ever hear me say ‘I’ll try,” correct me. 

In my book, there is no trying, trying is the gray area; we don’t have time for that. Either you are or you’re not. You do or you don’t. You will or you won’t. 9 times out of 10, when you say ‘try,’ you already know you’re not going to do it. When you say, ‘I’ma try to make it,” we all know that means you’re not coming. Don’t be afraid—just say yes or no. Try leaves others wondering. There’s no definiteness. There’s lose strings. Just be honest not just with others but with yourself. ‘Try’ is an escape from making an actual commitment. Try is our excuse to not do; it gives us lee-way. It’s our reason as to why things aren’t working . . “I tried.” Lazy faith, like Mike Todd says, believes an attempt is enough. No! You either do or you don’t! You either believe 100% or you don’t at all. The Lord says I rather you be hot or cold, but when you’re lukewarm, He spits you out! Don’t be lukewarm. 

I’m learning too to quit lying to myself. If I know I’m not going to do something, or that I’m likely not to do it, or if I straight up don’t feel like it or want to, I rather say no first than to say yes and go back on my word. Having to do so kills your confidence. Your devotion. Your strength, your power; let your yes be yes and your no be no. It sounds so simple and easy but can be hard to do. I’ve started to catch myself whenever I say or even think of saying it. It’s like a little voice whispers in my hear (the Holy Spirit likely) that says, ‘you know whether you will or you won’t.’ So that then forces me to actually think before I speak. Sometimes the idea of things sound good in the moment and we want to believe that we can or that we will. Or rather we want other people to be satisfied or enticed by our efforts, now that’s a blog for another day too. Nonetheless, there’s always a nudging that happens in our minds that causes us to check our heart and we have to learn to be more sensitive to it. To be more honest about it. In the end, there are no results in trying. There is no cause and effect. There is no trust. People will hold you more accountable to your actions than they will your word. There’s a great saying that says, '“actions speak louder than words—’ a cliche of course, yet it will always hold true.

So my encouragement for this week is for you to check your heart. What have you tried or made an attempt to do, but have yet to fully commit to getting it done? Have you started that blog or podcast? Have you signed up for that gym membership? Have you applied for that job? Have you started saving for that car? Aren’t you tired of waiting? Once you figure out what it is, I challenge you to make a public commitment to doing it. Whether on social media, in your close friend group, to your pastor or to your mother, whichever way you choose—trust yourself enough to do it. Again, there are no results in trying. You will only accomplish as much as you DO.

Until next time . .

“I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.” - Revelation 3:15-16 (NLT)

“Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.” - Matthew 5:37 (NLT)

“If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.” - Numbers 30:2 (KJV)

“But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heave, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath; but let your yea be yea, and your nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.” - James 5:12 (KJV)

Souled Out

So this weekend I went to an event at a different church. I won’t mention it’s name but it sparked a thought in my mind that I wanted to just share and write about. First, I enjoy going to other places and fellow-shipping with other people; it pushes me out of my comfort zone A LOT and it stretches me to be more of a social bug (I’m still growing y’all). I had a really good time nonetheless; as a person who is driven to reach and teach, I have to take better advantage of these moments so that the truth is heard. 

This takes me to the thought that I wanted to share. I guess I’ll start by saying I really enjoy the freedom and the vulnerability that our church promotes when it comes to worship--it’s not something you get everywhere you go. And it kind of made me think how many people here are really living a souled out life? How many have the true understanding of who Christ is and the power of His Spirit? How many have the support to be vulnerable not just in the presence of God but also when other people are around? As worship was happening, it was a little hard for me to get in the Spirit. The leaders were encouraging worship with their words but not so much with their expression. And for me, expression is major. It’s a form of release; an act of love to the Most High. And to have been in a place where that was not magnified, it just made me ponder. I know what I experience when I worship--joy, peace, comfort, love, power, breakthrough. But what do you feel when you’re not in a place to go that deep with God? What do you do when your spiritual home (church) preaches but does not practice worship? 

From my perspective, it leaves people in the gray. Maybe the worship is not magnified because it does not come from a pure heart. Maybe the worship is not magnified because it’s not important enough (“it don’t take all that”). Maybe the worship is not magnified because there is a lack of understanding. Maybe the worship is not magnified because of fear. Whatever the reason may be, I felt the urge to speak on it. I could not personally live with a surface relationship with God. Worship is what takes me deeper. Worship is what takes me out of my comfort zone. Worship is what makes me happy. Worship, like I could literally just go on and on that’s how important it is to me, as I feel it should be to every believer. It should be ingrained in our hearts so much that it pours over into the lives of those by which we are surrounded. 

Why am I writing about this you ask? Because it kind of hurt my heart to see. What am I going to do about it you ask? I’m not sure. I just want to see people be free. And it is my encouragement to continue to live a life of worship so that people see that it’s okay. So that people see the power that it brings and the effect it has when life is not so easy. So that people can be inspired to live a full life of worship. God has already and continuously goes all out for us, it’s only fitting we do the same for Him. He deserves it. 

Until next time . . <3

“Sing praises to the Lord, for He has done excellent and glorious things; Let this be known throughout the earth.” - Isaiah 12:5 (AMP)

“God is a Spirit: and they that worship Him must worship him in spirit and in truth.” - John 4:24 (KJV)

A Year's Time

So I figured I’d dedicate this blog to recap on #YGYR19. First, let’s just address the change from last year’s retreat to this one. My mind is still blown at just how much can happen over the course of a year. Ironically I feel like I’m walking into a similar season that I was in around this time last year—needing to detach and refocus—however, my mindset is completely different. And so here we are. 

This retreat was right on time. For those who don’t know, I just got out of a relationship (another blog for another day), but when I say this retreat was everything I needed. I’m all for disconnecting from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and I absolutely enjoyed not having cell or internet service while we were gone. To be fully present in this moment was important to me so I had no desire to even be on my phone. I took advantage of this time to rest and reconnect with the friends who have been there for me since my walk began. In all honesty, it meant so much for me to just be there because months earlier, I carried the heaviest burden believing that I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it like I hoped too. But GOD. He’s shown me a level of love that I had not known before and has completely re-set the standard in my life. Every moment was total bliss. From the drive in on Wednesday night where the stars glistened in abundance, to the mountain top campfire as the Sun was setting; from sitting in the grass and having conversations with Jiyra as we watched the boys play flag football to dancing with Keni after worship service—I simply just cannot get over how far God has brought me. To be able to enjoy these kinds of moments with genuine, honest people. I can hardly fathom. 

Furthermore, my relationships have grown so much deeper and my faith so much stronger. With that, I’m sure you’d find it hard to believe that I still get nervous in these moments. That sometimes that shy girl I was before still whispers in my ear, telling me I don’t belong here. What I love most about these retreats though, is that they create a safe space to be real and vulnerable. In these moments, no matter what fear I’m faced with, I trust where God has me and I know that my transparency will bring healing and comfort. No matter how inconsistent I’ve been, God still meets me there and speaks victory over my life. No matter how uncomfortable or uncertain I may be, my worship is what sets me free and opens my heart to a never-changing God. I may walk in one way, but I guarantee I leave out another. 

Again, this retreat (which was only my second) was definitely one for the books. This past year alone has brought about a ton of change, not just in my life but in our church’s life too. Matt and Mariah got married, C. Oliver’s Cafe & Flower Bar officially opened, and we moved out of our old building into a bigger and better one. So many great accomplishments, one after the other, and after this retreat, I know there’s even more to come. Being around so many aspiring and talented people just compels me to press towards the call God has for me. It’s amazing to see what God can do when you put your trust in His hands. Oct. 4th marked two years for me since I first visited the church (yes I’m big on dates so I will forever honor that day LOL). Needless to say, you couldn’t have told me last year that where I am is where I’d be. Not every choice I’ve made has been the best; I’m human and at times I thought I knew what was best for me. I depended on my own understanding instead of putting my trust in the Lord. But I thank God that His grace isn’t based off of my works. Despite my mistakes, there is greater in store for me after what I’ve been through this past year and I am claiming it ALL. 

So I say this all to say that no matter where you are in your life, when you truly hand your pen over to God and allow Him to write the script, His story-line will be a whole lot greater than you trying to write it yourself. My encouragement this week is if you don’t know God, then get to know Him. If you don’t know where to start, reach out. Our doors at New Destiny Worship Center are always open. God is the way and if He did it for me, He can do it for you. To all of YG, I thank you for loving me. Y’all give me a joy like no other. #YGYR19 was my confirmation to continue walking in the authority God has given me. To stand on His Word and to never settle for less than I deserve. He has already planted the seed in me and it is up to me to water it. I don’t need a tool, I am the tool. And as David said, the future is looking pretty bright! (insider) HAHA!

Until next time . . <3

“Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” - John‬ ‭14:6‬ ‭(KJV‬‬)

“Above all, lift up the [protective] shield of faith with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God.” - Ephesians‬ ‭6:16-17‬ ‭(AMP‬‬)

“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.” - Hebrews‬ ‭13:8‬ ‭(KJV‬‬)

Consistency pt. II

Hey, it’s Tuesday! And I am following up on last weeks post. If you didn’t read it... um, why not? Lol, but no. I encourage you to do that first, so that this one makes a little more sense. As I wrote about consistency, the honest explanation to my struggle in that area came to mind. I mentioned that I was afraid to make the commitment to post once a week . . here’s why: 

I fear consistency because I fear what it will actually turn in to . . I fear the result. The praise. That it can actually happen for me. That I can actually do it. So the excuses would come and come. But I will no longer sit on my potential but instead allow God to elevate me. Because He wants to take me higher and I know He will keep me wherever I go. He wants more for me and I will believe that it CAN happen for me. That I CAN be that speaker, that teacher, that encourager, that friend, that daughter, that co-worker; whatever God is calling me to be, I will be. Making this kind of commitment is actually empowering. It’s exciting; it’s a little daunting too, but the question I now ask myself is what will God do next? If I’m actually discipline and obedient, how great will the reward be? What will happen not just for me, but more importantly in the lives of those around me? When you start to think about that, you kind of get a little more passionate about developing your craft because nothing but good can come from it. It’s not just about me and it never has been; and I’m starting to remind myself more consistently that my discipline is pleasing to God. And if nothing else gets me going, it’s that. Nothing says I trust God more than actually working with the tools He’s already placed in my hands and serving Him right where I am. I may not be where I want to be, but He will certainly guide me there. You don’t grow and get better by standing still; you grow by moving forward.

I watched a sermon last week, and the main point that stuck out to me was, “nobody goes around telling people how discipline they are, but we see it in their fruit.” Let that marinate for a little. You usually never see the work that goes into a finished product; you just get the finished product. And you wonder, “how’d they get there?” You think, “that’s what I want, but how come I’m not there yet?” You question, “why isn’t it happening for me?” Or “wait, I had that idea like two years ago!” The moral is, you can’t get to where you want to be without putting in the work behind the scenes. You’ve got to start with the little things. With the little sacrifices, that seem so unnecessary now. So challenging. So unfair. Yet the purpose must be to do what is pleasing to God. And He will honor you, believe it or not. He loves you. And He only wants what’s best for you. He wants you to succeed. He wants to bless you; He wants to use you. This is why everything we do must not be for ourselves but for the Kingdom of God. When we bless ourselves or when we sit on the gifts and talents that He’s given us, we exclude ourselves from the abundance that God has for us. As servants, we may not always get the accolades we believe we deserve, but know that God is watching. He is watching and He is waiting.

One thing I remind myself of is that when it comes to consistency, it doesn’t matter how many views or likes I get on my posts. What matters is my obedience to God. And if I’m honest, sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes not getting that recognition can zap your fire and make you feel like what you’re doing isn’t good enough. Or that you shouldn’t even be doing it in the first place. But when the doubt comes, it’s time for a heart check. Because again, the work isn’t for me, but for the glory of God. And so if just one person is touched from my words; if just one person’s life is changed, my work is complete.

So today, the question that I ask you is—what is God waiting for you to do?

Until next time . . 💜

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.” - 1 Peter‬ ‭5:6‬ ‭(NLT‬‬)

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” - Matthew‬ ‭6:33‬ ‭(KJV‬‬)

“Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” - 1 Corinthians‬ ‭10:31‬ ‭(KJV‬)