I had a different message prepared, but I couldn’t ignore the push to say something in regard to the racial injustices in America, especially considering the recent events involving #georgefloyd, #breonnataylor, and #ahmaudarbery. Over the past week, I’ve been concerned with, what do I even say? What do I do? And I don’t have a specific answer yet, but I feel a need now more than ever to get involved. To speak up. To use my voice, my platform, to express the emotions I’ve had over the past few days.

I’m saddened. Angered. Heartbroken. Tired. Overwhelmed. Exhausted. You get off social media for a moment to live in the now, to rejoice, to be present, to love, to laugh. To try to navigate back into this “new normal” that we’re approaching. Then you get back on and see that the pain is still there. That our cries are louder now than ever before. That the push to speak up is louder now than ever before. That the plague of racism is being revealed on a grander scale and is in our faces, now more than ever before. And we cannot ignore it. We cannot escape it. It is not going to just pass us by. And because of that, we have to allow ourselves to feel every emotion that comes over us. Now, is not the time to bury or suppress it. Now is not the time to hide and pretend it’s not there. Now is not the time to minimize or underestimate the reality of where we are and what’s going on. I literally walked into a eyeglasses store on Monday, concerned if I would be treated differently (because I have been before) due to it being located in a predominately white area. Granted, I shop in this particular area ALL THE TIME, but my ALERTNESS is higher now than ever before. I’m observing, I’m watching, I’m waiting, and whether this is a healthy place for me to be or not, I’m not sure, but it is my(our) current reality. Everyone is under pure scrutiny right now. Anything you say or do, and even the fact if you don’t say or do anything, it matters and will expose who. you. are. If you show passion and concern for other matters and not this one, shame on you. And trust me, I know it’s tough. The pressure is on right now. And my heart hurts for the non-POC who sincerely care about us and are afraid of how to engage but I assure you, now is the time to be honest and vulnerable; whether you are admitting to your own racial biases or confessing that you didn’t understand it before but you do now. You have to do it. Only then can we come together on a united front and stimulate true change.

As my Youth Pastor said last week in bible study, “the deformities have to be exposed before the healing can start,” and I fully believe that is what is happening in our nation today. The truth is rising. It is louder than ever before. And healing and change are on the way. It won’t happen overnight. But it will happen. So, I pray that we all take the time to feel and to reflect, and to figure out the best possible way for us to express ourselves as we all seek to stand for justice and righteousness. Now is not the time to be indifferent. And for me personally, I feel my responsibility right now is to educate myself as much as I can so that I can respond effectively. So that I can make informed decisions. I may not have all the tools nor all of the resources, but I do have a willingness and a desire to be the change I want to see. To be a voice. To be a light. We are truly living during a time that will be taught in a history class 20, 30, 40, 50 years from now and it’s so crazy to know that what was once “history” is happening all over again today. But I don’t just want to be a bystander. There are future generations depending on us and I want to know that I contributed to the change. So during this time, I’ll be reading new books and watching documentaries to deepen my understanding of the problem and praying for God to show me what it is that I can do to be a part of the solution.

In closing, I do want to end with a few words of encouragement. This world is not our home y’all, we are just passing through. And God has a greater purpose for us all. So, hold on to His word. Hold on to His promises. Seek Him while He may be found. And let love be your highest goal.

Until next time . .