Quarter of a Century

So, God did a thing over the weekend. Can you guess what? Yep, I turned 25. Like what? If I wasn’t grown before, I for sure am now. Haha. Seriously though, I’m so grateful to have reached such a pivotal age. A whole quarter of a century is what I’ve been hearing (LOL). But it feels good. And I’m excited to see what this year brings. 24 was interesting. It brought about a lot of change, a handful of new experiences, and of course I have to count the highs and the lows. Nevertheless, it was a year of learning. I began my walk just a little over two years ago and to be where I am today . . honestly, it blows my mind how far I’ve come in so little time. Sometimes it’s hard to see my own growth though. It’s way easier to count my wrongs than it is to count my rights and sometimes they take up too much time and space. We as humans, we’re our own worst critics. We put a lot of energy and focus on our mistakes and not enough into our successes. Even the little wins count. And those are usually the ones that make the biggest difference. 

One thing I learned this past year was the importance of forgiveness. We’re not perfect beings and as much as we wish we were, we just aren’t. Inevitably, we will make mistakes. Whether big or small, the key factor is that we learn and push forward to not make the same mistakes again. Sometimes you will though. Or should I just speak for myself? For me, the lesson isn’t always learned the first time around and often that’s what makes the suffering worse. You start to think of all the things you should have done differently and imagine how things could have turned out. And often it’s not because you didn’t know better, you simply just made the wrong choice. This is where forgiveness has to come in--forgiveness of yourself. Because God already forgave you. Ya know, what kills me the most sometimes is how bad I feel I’ve disappointed God. How much I neglected Him and acted on my own understanding instead of His. The truth though is that God keeps no record of wrongs. So why do we dwell on them for so long? Why do we beat ourselves up like mistakes aren’t bound to happen? We’re human! And we have to learn to extend grace just as quick as we receive it, not just to others but to ourselves. 

We will fall down, we will trip and stumble, however the beauty in God’s grace gives us an opportunity to get back up. The objective should not be to wish things had happened differently but to apply the knowledge that was gained through the experience. We will often get in our own way and get off track of what God has planned for us, but as long as we find our way back, God is always there to redirect us. The decisions we make won’t always be the best, but one promise that gets me through is that God can and He will make them work for my good. Every day is a new day. Some days I can’t wait for the day to be over because I know His mercies will be renewed in the morning. And that is another promise that comforts me when I’m being too hard on myself. Of course, my intentions are never to take advantage of God’s grace, but sometimes you have to just remind yourself that it’s there. Whatever happened yesterday was already forgiven. His words are true--His grace is sufficient. No matter how far I fall, He is always right there. And the closer we get to Him, the more like Him we become. 

As I walk into this new year of life, my prayer is that I will grow in my knowledge and understanding of His promises. Without them, we make ourselves susceptible to doubt and fear. The more rooted we are in His word, the stronger we are and the better decisions we make. I’m excited for 25. I know I’ve come a long way but I have even further to go and with God, all things are possible. For me, 25 is a turning point. From what I’ve learned about myself this year, I’ve got to put it to work. No more games. Remember now, I’m not perfect (LOL), but know that I’m willing. My encouragement to you this week is to take time to write your rights--give yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished this year and figure out how you will apply what you’ve learned to move forward. Again, 2020 is right around the corner. Don’t wait—start now.

Until next time . . 💜

P.S. Thank you again to everyone for all the birthday wishes! This was another year for the books. Beyond grateful for amazing friends and loving and supportive family. Y’all da best. 🤟🏽

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” - Romans 8:28 (KJV)

“It is because of the Lord’s lovingkindnesses that we are not consumed, Because His [tender] compassions never fail. They are new every morning;: Great and beyond measure is Your faithfulness.” - Lamentations 3:22-23 (AMP)

“But He has said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for you [My lovingkindness and My mercy are more than enough--always available--regardless of the situation]; for [My] power is being perfected [and is completed and shows itself most effectively] in [your] weakness.” Therefore, I will all the more gladly boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ [may completely enfold me and] may dwell in me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (AMP)

“But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” - Matthew 19:26 (KJV)

Growing Pains

You ever feel uninspired? Or discouraged? I feel like I’ve been on a run the past two months with my writing and I’ve suddenly hit a wall. My juices aren’t flowing like they were and maybe I’m becoming a little tired. A little bored, if I can? Being consistent wasn’t as hard as I thought it’d be, however now, I’m like okay..what’s next? This is where God told me to start, what’s my next step? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy writing. It’s helped me a ton in this season. And the last thing I want to do is grow impatient with God, which is why I pushed myself to write today. Because whatever is next, I know He has in preparation and it may take a few more sacrifices before I receive it, let alone know what it is. It just makes me think of a statement my YP made when he was teaching on natural gifts and how we typically don’t invest a lot in to what comes easy to us. Our natural gifts are a given—they don’t take time to learn or to study and develop, they’re just there, waiting to be used. And because it comes easy, it can become boring. And if I can be honest, that’s kind of where I am. And it sucks to even admit, but it’s the truth. 

The year is coming to an end, literally 50 days and we’ll be in a new year. And last night I was thinking well, this definitely came sooner than expected (though every day the same 24 hours passes by). It kind of put me in a mood to reflect on what I’ve accomplished this year, asking myself what’s my productivity been like? Sometimes, I feel like I’ve done nothing. Sometimes, I feel like I’ve done a lot, depending on what angle I’m looking from. There’s such a pressure to keep up with the daily routines of life and it’s hard to be consistent all over—week after week, I’m figuring out what to meal prep for the week or what days to go to the gym; what will I write for the blog or how much of my dining out budget do I have left to spend. Week after week, like clockwork. I love the weekends though and hate how fast they go. Those are the days I feel more free and less overwhelmed. Yet as Sunday comes to an end, it’s like the weights of the world are back on my shoulders. And because of this, it reminds me that time waits for no one. No matter what we’re going through, time is the one constant that will never change (with the exception of God). Time keeps going, whether you accomplished nothing or knocked 12 things off your to-do list, the same 24 hours goes by each day. And there’s no stopping it. We put ourselves together day after day to present ourselves to the world. And then we come home to take it all off; to breath for just a little until we have to do it all over again the next day. And I don’t know if it’s just me or does that sound like it can become boring? Of course everyday isn’t the same, but in a sense, it is. . . Right? 

Nevertheless, what we do or don’t do in a day is left up to us. Sometimes a rest day is necessary—I could use like a week but hey, the cookie hasn’t quite crumbled that way yet. God says we are the builders, therefore everyday, there’s a job to do. There’s no time off, no sick leave, no vacation—there’s a responsibility that we have as believers and we must not grow tired of it. The days will come, where you feel uninspired, or bored, or tired, but keep pushing. Sometimes we can be our own worst critics, not realizing how much progress we’ve made in our lives. The small deposits may seem monotonous to us, however they may appear to God on a much larger scale. So don’t slow down or give in. Better days are yet to come and I’m sure someone you don’t even know is watching you, rooting for you to come through on the other side. More Importantly, God is watching you and I can bet your blessing is on the other side of the slump.

As we approach 2020, I just have one question for you—what’s one thing you want to get done before the end of the year and what are you going to do to make sure it happens? 

Until next time . . 

“Let us not grow weary or become discouraged in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap, if we do not give in.” - Galatians‬ ‭6:9‬ ‭(AMP‬‬)

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” - Matthew‬ ‭6:33-34‬ ‭(KJV‬‬)

“Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.” - Matthew‬ ‭18:18‬ ‭(KJV‬‬)

Where He Wants Me To Be

All weekend I was thinking of what to write about this week. Last week was a little rough for me—so many emotions that I continued to ask God, “okay, which should I use for the blog?” And honestly, I still haven’t figured it out. Over the weekend, God did renew my mind and my strength and I feel good going into this week. However, my thoughts haven’t quite been pieced together yet. So, as I was scrolling on FB through my memories, I saw a post from two years ago and it instantly sparked a thought so here we go. 

Two years ago, on November 4, 2017, I had started a new position at my job. A couple of weeks before, I had been offered an assistant manager position and without thinking twice, I took it. I had expressed my interest rather casually maybe a month before that to my general manager, not really thinking or believing an offer would come so quickly. So when it did, I just knew it was God. He knew my current financial struggle and after just five months of being at the job, he had opened a door at the right time. Come to find out though, that wasn’t quite the door for me. 

The post I made on FB read, “Headed to work, new position today. Holding on to His word and trusting that this is where He wants me to be!” And when I read that, I said to myself, ‘it wasn’t.’ It was not where God wanted me to be and when I wrote that, I was just hoping that His blessing would come from a decision I made for myself (I hope you caught that). That day, I knew that’s not where He wanted me, but I was too afraid to go back. I had accepted the position without even asking or seeking God to ensure His hand was on it. I had looked at what I could do for myself instead of trusting in what He could do for me. How did I know it wasn’t Him, you ask? Because it kept me from being where He was. A month prior, on October 4th, 2017, I walked into New Destiny for the first time. And I won’t go over that story again lol, you can go read my very first post “What Are You Afraid Of,” for that. Nevertheless, just after my second week of visiting the church and making the commitment in my heart that this was the place for me, then came the job offer. And as assistant manager, my scheduled literally required me to work Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings. The devil right?!! (kidding). I knew that before accepting the position too and somehow forgot right before I said yes. 

What was I thinking? As I stated earlier, I wasn’t. I had took the offer with no thought whatsoever and had got myself into the most conflicting position possible. You may think I could have easily went back and said never mind before starting, and ya know, I wish I had the courage to do so then but I didn’t. The money wasn’t the only reason either. There was a guy I was trying to impress or prove myself to that I could handle such a position and I couldn’t dare turn it down now. And for the next two months, every Wednesday and Sunday I went to work, I literally felt it in my spirit that I was suppose to be somewhere else. I couldn’t get my mind off of New Destiny and the people I had met. The first Sunday I worked (which was my second day in the new position), I actually cried on my way there because I got a text from Erin(my YPW) that morning and it hit me deep that I couldn’t be there to accept my Holy Ghost certificate. It hurt so much I honestly pondered just saying forget this job and driving to church. But I had to suffer the consequences of my own decisions.

I tell this story to say, every open door isn’t always God. Sometimes, it’s a test of your faith. Sometimes, it’s a door opened by the enemy. Sometimes, it’s a door you forced open yourself. And if you walk into it, it may lead you in to a compromising situation. Accepting that position stunted my growth in God because it kept me from being where I needed to be. My thirst and hunger for God was so big at that time and I felt at war with my spirit. I liked my job I did, don’t get me wrong. And I was eager to take on the challenge—the timing just was not right. How quick we are though, to jump at the first opportunity that comes our way in a time of need. My pay was increased and I found comfort, but shortly after, expenses increased too and it was square one all over again. The position came with me switching locations and after a month, I got moved back to where I started. I thought, ‘wow this wasn’t even worth it.’ I wanted to just go back to my old position but knew it was too late. My spot was already filled and even if it wasn’t, the possibility for another shot at being a manager was slim to none so I held on to it, trusting that it would eventually work for me . . it didn’t. 

Two months later, I quit. I had never quit a job in my life (granted I’ve only had four including my current one) but the day I did, I felt an overwhelming peace. At that point, I didn’t care anymore. The money didn’t matter; the position or title, the cool manager polos and sweaters, what the guy thought of me—none of that mattered more than my peace and my salvation. So my encouragement for you this week, is to choose carefully what doors you walk in to because every one won’t be for you. Every opportunity doesn’t have your name it. The circumstances you get yourself into will often require you to get yourself out. Carefully consider what you may be losing or sacrificing before you make a decision. Could it be your peace? Your freedom? Your joy and happiness? Your integrity . . . your salvation? All these things that the world can’t give and the world can’t take away. The enemy loves to make things appear good on the outside though, and sometimes he will even use the Word of God to tempt you like he did Jesus on the mountain. But you must know better and do better. Ask God first; He wouldn’t give you something that would cause you to compromise your faith or your values. He knows what you need and has it prepared just for you. Set your standards and let God’s favor rest upon you. Wait on Him, and in just the right time, He will lift you up in honor.

Until next time . . 

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” - Proverbs‬ ‭3:5-6‬ ‭(KJV‬‬)

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes].” - James 1:17‬ ‭(AMP‬‬)

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God [set aside self-righteous pride], so that He may exalt you [to a place of honor in His service] at the appropriate time,” - 1 Peter‬ ‭5:6‬ ‭(AMP‬)

“Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guards the city, The watchman keeps awake in vain.” - ‭‭Psalm ‭127:1‬ (‭AMP‬)

let go & let God

So I had the idea of going a little deeper this week; getting a little more personal. God’s been doing a lot of work in me over the past month and a half and I sooner rather than later reached the point to do as my title says: let go and let God. And as I closed one chapter in my life, it really made me think of how hard it is sometimes to really let go and let God. 

I think we use the term all too much and don’t really ‘let go.’ But it sounds good right? For me, I think this is the first time in my life where I’ve really, truly, fully, decided to let go and let God. I have for a long time too said those words but still maintained control, even if just in a small capacity. There was always a fear that if I let it go, it won’t come back. Or I’ve done so much to get it, I can’t let it go. But did you hear what I just said? “I’ve done so much to get it.” Wow. The conviction literally came as I wrote those words. We do for ourselves and expect God to bless or maintain it, when really He has something far greater for us down the road. Yet we have a hard time letting go of things we’ve built for ourselves because there is some level of safety and security in having power and authority over our lives. But as of late, I’d like to believe that I’m much safer and secured in the hands of the Lord. 

As I pondered this subject, the phrase that continuously ran across my mind was, “if it’s meant for you, it will come back.” And ya know, I can’t help but think, “well, what if it doesn’t?” “What will I do if it doesn’t?” “How will I feel if it doesn’t?” And the more I think about it, the more I have to tell myself not to think about it. Why? Because it’s no longer under my control. The “what if’s” lead to doubt, fear, and for me personally, it causes me to put someone else’s feelings before my own, emptying myself with an expectation of receiving but not getting much in return. I’d be holding on to something that could change in an instant and that has the potential to hurt me. I understand now though, more than ever, what it means to let go, and if I’m honest, it’s tough. I’ve been a people pleaser for most of my life and even knowing so, I still struggle with saying no or speaking up for myself. I have sought out acceptance and confirmation from others, giving people too much power and control over my life. And in that, it’s caused some real emotional and mental damage. There are habits that I have now that are so hard to break, but I realized the more I depend on myself the weaker I become. And so this week, is my public declaration that I am letting go and letting God. 

As I stated, it isn’t easy--it’s really one of the hardest things that I’ve ever had to do. But knowing that God is calling me higher and wants to do more with me is all I need. There is a sense of empowerment that I have now that I didn’t have before. There’s a level of trust I have in God now that I didn’t have before. There is a level of freedom that I have now that lightens my heart and I am so excited to move forward. As I make this commitment, I say to myself that I don’t know what God has on the other side for me, but I am willing to walk with Him to find out. This is what faith really looks like. And I have never felt so proud of myself in my life. I know that God has a calling for my life and every desire He’s placed in my heart will be mine. It’s going to take some work and some time, but I’m no longer in a rush. His work is perfect. His timing is perfect. And I will wait for Him. I deserve nothing shy of His greatness and I will not settle for anything less. 

So this week, I challenge you to check your inventory and ask yourself, “what do I need to ‘let go and let God?’ Is it your attitude? A bad relationship? A negative mindset? Poor money habits? Whatever it is, I challenge you to try it God’s way--He will never fail you. He is a God of repair and restoration. If it’s for you, then it will be yours. And whatever you have to go through to get it, whether good or bad, it’ll be worth it. 

Until next time . . .

“This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust Him.” - Psalm 91:2 (NLT)

“Consider it nothing but joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you fall into various trials. Be assured that the testing of your faith [through experience] produces endurance [leading to spiritual maturity, and inner peace]. And let endurance have its perfect result and do a thorough work, so that you may be perfect and completely developed [in your faith], lacking in nothing.” - James 1:2-4 (AMP)

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV)

“God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.” - Psalm 18:30 (NLT)

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people.” - Genesis 50:20 (NLT)