a hopeless romantic prelude: Victory

Written: Mar 1, 2020.

I started off the new year really strong, really empowered and determined.. not knowing that not even a week into the year I would find myself in the midst of problems I thought I left behind last year. The anger, the discouragement, the loneliness, like I had said in my video, I thought had died when the clock struck 12, but it all came rushing back days later. And jeez, for the past two months, I have been giving myself permission to ‘slack off,’ but in reality, I lost my purpose. In a instance, I felt like I lost my voice and I didn’t want to share anymore. My words, my story, they didn’t matter. I lost my strength, my power.. I wanted to give up but was disguising it with procrastination. I felt defeated but I kept telling everyone I was working in the background. In a sense I was, but not to the extent that I set out for when this year started. To be honest, if it wasn’t for God I would have let everything go. If it wasn’t for the accountability of friends, mentors, and leaders, I would’ve said forget it. But I stand here to say, that even in the midst of the storm, God is a solid rock to stand. I may feel weak in certain areas of my life, but when your committed to living a faith-filled life, nothing lasts forever. You learn that God is your strength and that He will go to extreme lengths to see you win. You may feel like giving up but He is forever fighting for you. I am grateful to have a firm foundation in Him because I know at some point, I will always get the victory. Sometimes feeling sorry and sad, depressed.. sometimes it feels good, but it gets heavy.. and will soon become more than you can bear. I had to exchange it for joy, for peace, because I deserve it. 

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This is my victory cry. I hope it helps you find yours.

Until next time . .